Already 17 now ya'll! But still am small and petite. Despite that I've got a big heart and a huge ego. You'll love me as I spill my greatest ups and downs moments here. Have fun reading, potatoes :-)
Naida xoxo

Friday, April 10, 2009
<3

It was a feeling I can't explain. And it felt like harmony.

Akon

:):):)

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Friday, September 12, 2008
Sampai Kapan - Maliq and d'essentials

Menantikanmu dalam jiwaku

Sabar ku menunggu, berharap sendiri

Aku mencoba merindukan bayangmu

Karena hanyalah bayanganmu

yang ada...


Hangat mentari dan terangnya rembulan

Mengiringi hari-hariku yang tetap tanpa kehadiranmu


Pantaskah diriku ini mengharapkan

Suatu yang lebih dari hanya 

sekedar perhatian dari dirimu

Yang kau anggap biasa saja


Atau mestikah kusimpan dalam diri

Lalu ku endapkan rasa ini terus

Selama-lamanya...


Sampai kapan kubertahan

Ku menantikan kepastian

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Saturday, August 30, 2008
How Complex

Do you know how it feels like to be cheated on? It hurts. A lot. Especially when you trust that person so much you think that person is the one. The words that come out from his/her mouth are sweet. Too sweet that it'll hurt you when you finally find out that he or she is actually faithless. 

I've been there. I felt it once. It felt like my heart is crushed, crushed, and crushed. I wasted a lot of tears. I was filled with remorse. But I'm keeping it away. I don't care about it anymore. It's just a past. That was then. And now? Someone else has become the-me-then. She may not know it but God knows I'm doing it. I tried stopping. I tried quitting. It's too late. We go too far. 

We aren't dating. But we are, emotionally. And as a matter of fact, I am filled with jealousy. Knowing that he still loves his girlfriend, too. I mean if he doesn't love her anymore, why continuing the relationship? I'm not going to persuade him to break up. I don't want him to do it either. Haaahh, the same old me. Same old patient me. 

I just want to stop.  I feel evil. I'm hurting her. I'm the third-person.

xoxo

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Sunday, July 27, 2008
Bored

I'm so happy. Happy hippy yippie :) He caught me off-guard and now I'm sooo over the moon. I'm sorry I made everything hard for you. I didn't mean too. But you made everything hard for me too now. Sooo yeah, we're even. 

Tomorrow's another day of school. It has been 3 weeks. 68 is great. I don't regret transferring to that public school. I just want a holidayyy. I've had enuf of school. Bikin pusing.

Jujur aja sih, kangen.

xoxo

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Wounded? Na-ah.

I want to sleep. I'm so tired. Been out of the house for the whole day and I haven't had a little bit of a normal rest. I need to unwind a bit. But I can't sleep. I don't feel like sleeping. But I'll sleep after writing this scrap anyway.

Despite of me getting ready to faint, my day was the opposite. It was quite of an excitement. I went to Plaza Senayan with my Binus mates. Plaza Senayan Mall. Like for the zillion time. Me and my friends been hanging there for numerous time. I'm not fed up by going to that same mall for like... every week. With either friends or family. The mall's immensely cozy. Not to mention CIMS' filicium. It's like the best place ever :)

I watched batman today. AGAIN. For the second time. I admit the movie was okay... urr I guess. But it's just kinda boring. I fell asleep for some minutes. I almost had the time to finally relax until Michi woke me up!!! She nudged me and then ta-daaa I woke up when I still wanted to enjoy my cinema nap. Oh well.

Before I end today's lame post, how about another sneak peek of my sucky love life? Yeahh, still stuck with the same taken guy. Surprisingly, on weekdays I've had him out of my mind. Not totally out of my mind. I mean he kinds of like fading away from my thoughts, a little bit. When yet, I know I still like him. But suddenly he showed up again and filled my mind, the whole sector. Maan he ruins my cheery single life. How cool. I thought no one will ever disrupt my normal single life. And now I am back with the ups and downs of a bittersweet romance ;)

... and a bit of wound and pain.

xoxo

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Sunday, July 20, 2008
The "Situation"

I went out again yesterday with the guy I talked about in the previous post, for the third time. Alright, going straightforward, the word "situation" actually means that my crush already has a girlfriend. It's a situation right? Haha. And why am I brave enough to mention the secret here? It's because the guy himself already knew that I like him. Oh well, we both confessed. But it's not like he asks me out then I nod and say yes and dating each other happily ever after, no not like that. 

Let's go back to the "situation". He is taken. T-A-K-E-N. He is someone else's. I don't wanna be the third person. It's so trashy. I also don't wanna be someone who snatches someone's boyfriend away. No way. I'll just wait. But I won't put too much hope tho. Because  if things change, it won't hurt too much. I was so happy yesterday. I just can't forget every things that happened yesterday. He asked me, "Isn't it obvious?". I told him it wasn't obvious, that I didn't have a clue that the girl he actually likes is me. It was a bit obvious but I didn't want to assume too fast. Thinking that he actually likes me. Because if my assumption goes wrong, that would hurt, wouldn't it? Why does my love life has to be this complicated? Why do I like a guy who's taken? Why can't I just fall for someone who is single and won't intricate everything?

Now he makes it harder for me to walk away from his life. He likes me. Too. He gives me hope. Damnn. Yesterday he should've been somewhere else with his friends, but he decided to just stay with me. Maan, he makes everything becomes harder.

He likes me too. Now what? Make wishes, Nai =)

Kangen, nyet.

xoxo

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Monday, July 14, 2008
School's In

Today is the first day of school. Well, as a new student to be exact. I didn't sleep so well last night. I kept on rolling around my bed. I wanted to sleep at 10, I've prepared myself to go to bed. But then I finally fell asleep at midnight. I was worried about my first day of school as a new student. Especially that I am now going to a public school. Which is a total contradiction of Binus. But today wasn't so difficult. The school isn't so bad though. Beyond my expectation.

Anywaaaay I'm crushing on someone else already! But he is not a piece of cake. Since ... he's got a "situation" (situation refers to some other word :p). It's just that I feel comfortable being with him. But it's better for me to not making any more moves. I know it is a mistake to ever fall for him because of the "situation". But I just can't deny this feeling :)

I miss CIMS. I miss my Binus friends. I miss u all.

xoxo

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Where'd He Go?

So if anyone's wondering about AB3 my answer will be: I know nothing. Because I have lost contact with him. So now I won't run after love, I'll just wait for love to run after me. I am so tired with romance. Since I just got out from in a relationship status, going back to single life is so damn great. I am so free and soooo enlightened. I'm not really in a hurry to have another relationship.

But well to be honest, sometimes I see a vision of myself standing besides AB3, as his official girlfriend. Not that I'm obsess with him. I'm just imagining how it feels like to be in a relationship with a different person, who has different personality than the one you had before. How it feels like to be treated differently by someone else. Someone you like, someone you want to be with, someone to spend your gloomy times... Yeah just someone who will makes you smile whenever words come from his mouth. Especially words that are just sweet and silly :) But if we are not made for each other, just made as friends to be exact, then I'll just let this feeling goes away. What comes around, I'll let it comes around. Why do I have to lock it inside my heart when it will just ends up to a heartbreak? It has not break my heart... yet, but I know it will someday. So better off now. If he wants it that way. 

But yes, he did made my days.

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Sunday, April 20, 2008
Sunday Morning and I'm Crushing :)

Good morninnggg! It's Sunday morning and I just woke up half an hour ago. I slept for eight hours. I love it when I sleep more than a quarter of the day (I mean more than six hours, to be exact) Because every school days I sleep at around twelve o'clock and above when I have to wake up at five thirty in the morning. Gosh it's so tiring. Every week days (and sometimess weekend too) I only sleep for six hours or less. That's why these eyebags are sooo huge. 

Wow so funny. I turn the iTunes shuffle on and now it's randomly playing Secret Love by JoJo. That song is sooo two years ago (eight grade). Why? Because I had a crush on someone and the lyric fittted my hopeless situation. The song is quite nice tho, just kinda boring. Anyway, I have a crush on someone now. He's just soo nice. That's why even before I broke up, I think I've planted a spot of feelings inside my heart for him. But I wasn't sure yet then. Nevertheless here it goes, I'm back to the single life again. Now I am pretty sure that I like him. He makes me smile whenever he treats me the way I want to be treated. He's the new butterfly in my stomach :) A total contradiction to my ex-boyfriend's attitude.

So as of now I'm enjoying my new life, new status, and new crush <3

xoxo

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